Sunday, May 22, 2011 @ 4:20 PM | 0 Comments
I'm sorry for loving you so much. Yes, too much :') I know it is my mistake for letting myself feels that you also have the same way towards me. But apparently, it is just pathetic. I don't know how to express this feeling, but you know, its killing me.
I love you more than a friend but unfortunately you just thought me as a buddy even you treated me like we're not just a friend, did you noticed that? Why do you treat me like I'm the one for you? Seriously, its breaking my heart when you told me that you just love me as a friend, maybe somekinda 'special friend'. But why you do so?
Its keep questioning in my mind. I can't force you to love me :') the best way is, avoiding you. I know you would think I do that because I have someone else. But trust me, I don't. I know you'll never trust me again after I told you about my last relationship. Yes, I do regret that. But what I thought, we can be together when no more secrets between me & you. Huh, pathetic right? It is just a dream. When you first texted me after I told you about him, I still remembered you said 'I won't leave you, but for me maybe we can't be in a real relationship' :( I know it was my mistakes but that was the stupid decision && its sounds crazy, you know why I did that. But seems like you're not appreaciate me.
Yeah I admitted that I'm so jealous when you're keep talking about her, her & her. I know you like her don't you? Just admit it -.-' You always say that you love me, miss me. For what? :'( Its so hard for me to avoid you. I keep look at the phone, wanna text you but I have to refrain myself not to do so :) I'll try. I'm so sorry I do this because I love you too much. I can't let myself pretending like nothing happen when my heart is broken. I can't let myself loving you too much cause I know, you're not going to appreciate my sincerity. That's for sure. Treating you like my other friend is the better way.
If you read this, I just wanna say sorry, you broke my heart && thanks for realized me that we're just a friend. Not more than that. Thanks alot for your sweet behavior, those sweet moment that we have been trough, I'll never forget it. Always remember every second of it :)
Iloveyou && I always do, trust me.
Thanks for making me cry for a second time :')